thought it was time for a hairdo change :)
damn.
It has recently actually hit me how little time i have left here…up until now I told myself i don’t have that much time, but damn..I HAVE LESS THAN A MONTH. WTF..?!? its ironic that i’ve actually come to really appreciate ann arbor for what it’s worth. I remember my freshman year i was so miserable i always had to call friend/s from back home just to keep sane. and now, i’m kind of sad that i’ll be leaving..almost to the point where i want to stay a little longer in the summer :T HAH.
i think maybe a lot has to do with the different group of people that i’ve been hanging out with this past semester. I feel a lot more appreciated than past groups i’ve tried to get closer too :T but yea, i’ve been having a lot more fun this past semester, given that i’m only taking 4 credits…1 class (i can’t remember life back when i was taking like 16/17 credits…5/6 classes) CRAZY! but having good company really does help you appreciate a place, and i’m glad that i’ve finally found that. even though it does make me kind of sad that i only really found this during my last semester :( but it’s better than nothing!
I dont know what i’m doing with the rest of my life. I do have a general idea but it hasn’t really started folding out yet…so I need to really start buckling down on that but it’s kind of hard. yea, i haven’t been doing a lot this semester but i’m still burnt out from the past what…16 or so years of school..8 of those very intense studyage. but yea..entering into the next stage of life. SCARY. I’M SCARED SHITLESS actually. and living with my parents? thats another story…
but yea I guess my point in writing this is just realizing that things are actually coming to a close and there’s just not enough time to do everything. or i feel like. i need to make every day count :) I had my last ever greenie concert on Friday and it made me realize how much of a family i had in them. yea, at times i may not have felt as close to them as everyone else was with each other, but with them, i still feel that sense of family. even though i didnt cry during the concert (sorry i’m just heartless :p) seeing how emotional others were getting..i dont know just made me so happy that i could be part of that. now greenies isn’t over..yet. I’m so so so excited for our tour coming up in may. who knows, maybe i’ll cry when THAT’s over T.T
but anywho. in short…i’ll miss ann arbor. If you asked me even up until last semester if i’ll ever come back and visit I would have said hayl no. but..i think it’s going to be a very high possibility that i’ll visit - at least next year :)
mixed emotions about graduating :( :) haha :p
when did life get so complicated…. i miss those days where you can do things without consequences. just live a carefree life. oh to be young and carefree again.
forgotten
sometimes..i feel just that. forgotten about. but before i get annoyed or sad about the fact that someone or people just disregard..me. ok, so i may be sounding a bit full of myself thinking ‘why don’t people remember me’ or ‘why didnt they think to include me?!’ i’M REALLY NOT THAT SELF CENTERED YOU GUYS. its just like..i dont know. you would think in certain settings..like church…where people are supposed to be loving and welcoming and not judging and shit like that. lies. sorry for being bitter. ok i’m diverging ahaha. but yes i’m not being a self-centered bitch. just keep reading.
so before i get angry that i was forgotten..i think to myself. maybe it’s my fault. well i mean..it probably is. no this is not a pity party. yes, i know i have a hard time letting people in. i may seem friendly to you or what not, but honest truth. i really don’t open up to that many people. i could probably count with one hand how many people i truly opened up to. its just how i am. it takes me a majorly long time to open up to people. yes, its a problem i know. a bad side effect..it makes me just plain awkward around people. ahahah. funny aint it. until it happens to you! :p
but yea..i’ve always wanted to change this about me but damn. definitely easier said than done. this is why i admire people that just speak what’s on their mind without much filter. yes filter sometimes is nice. but just the fact that…they’re so confident in themselves that they don’t worry how other people might judge them if they say something that’s slightly offensive or calls someone out. i like this kind of character. although sometimes it bothers me. ahahaha i’m such a contradiction. but yea..one life-long goal.
speaking of goals. before i die..i WILL run a marathon :) today i ran close to 6 miles. if not 6. i was so proud of myself for pushing me to run that extra 1.1 mile loop around the park. now..just what to do in michigan. i hate running around the damn bball court track. just 5 miles is freakn 40 laps!! i lose count! hahaha but its too cold to run outside. i shall figure something out. i just had it good at home. ran at the park in 60-70 degree weather. then came home did abs on my deck. in the slight breeze there was. GAHH PERFECT I MUST SAY. too bad i’m off to michigan again tomorrow… T.T i’ve really learned to appreciate home and i’m glad i took this mini trip to visit my parents :)
go georgia! i think forever i will be a georgain :)
<3
